Coping Strategies for Your Anxious Child

School is starting back up and parents and kids are busy getting prepared. From getting the perfect school supplies, the fun new backpack and back to school outfits, the new school year can be a very exciting time! It can also be very stressful and anxiety inducing. For the Pre-K and Kindergarteners going to school for the very first time to the high schoolers trying to figure out their future, anyone can have a reason for being anxious before or during school.

What can we do to help them out? In this article, we will discuss different strategies to help manage the stress of school, leaving the safety of home, difficult peer relationships, academic expectations and social pressures.

It all starts with healthy habits and routines at home. The more stability they feel at home, the easier it will be to manage changes at school.

 Wake up at the same time every morning. The mind and body thrive on routine, therefore waking up at the same time allows the body to consistently release the morning hormones and chemicals that prepare the body for the day!

 Have a good breakfast containing protein. This is important to fuel the brain and body for a long day of learning! High sugar breakfasts like cereal, pop-tarts, donuts, etc. lead to blood sugar spikes and crashes, which can feel very similar to anxiety and make existing anxiety worse.

 Try preparing the night before to minimize morning chaos. Lay out clothes, get the backpack ready, pack a lunch if applicable.

 Have sit down dinners as a family whenever possible. Studies have shown that families that eat together at least 2x/week have children with less incidence of depression, anxiety and unhealthy weight.

 Use dinner times to talk about the day, without the distraction of electronics, and let your child discuss any struggles or fears they have. This is also a great time to hype up their accomplishments, no matter how small!

 Create a standard bedtime routine and stick to it!
          o This could look as simple as: Turn off all electronics 1 hour before bed, shower/bath, read for 15 minutes and then lights out.
          o The sleep space is very important to promoting quality sleep as well. The room should be dark with no bright lights (try a red-light bulb if they need a night light) and cool. White noise can be very helpful for promoting sleep and could be a fan, white noise machine, nature sounds or a sleep meditation app.

 Encourage hobbies and activities that make your child happy. The more often kids engage in things they enjoy, the less anxious they will be!

 Exercise! The body of evidence that supports exercise as a mode of treatment for anxiety is staggering. Whether it is an organized sport, walking the dog, dancing in your living room, karate or jumping on the trampoline, it does not matter what it is, just get their bodies moving!

 Find 1 or more people that they can talk to about their problems. A family member, close and trusted friend, therapist or school counselor. Don’t let them bottle up their fears and worries.

 Journaling can be a very therapeutic activity for anyone who struggles with anxiety. Getting our thoughts out of our heads and onto paper or typed out decreased the power that those thoughts have over us. This can be a great addition to the bedtime routine!

Now let’s discuss strategies for your kids to use while they are at school. For young kids that are upset when you drop them off at school, it is best to make a quick exit. Prolonging the good-bye often makes the situation worse and it more difficult for your child to calm down once you are gone. Tell them you love them, wish them a good day and assure them you will see them after school. This will likely last a week or two, but the majority of children adapt quickly to their new routine and will skip off to class without a backward glance (I know this hurts too).

 For younger kids, put a note or picture in their lunch box to let them know you are thinking of them, are proud of them and they are loved. The mid-day reminder can do wonders for boosting their spirits to finish out the day!

 Small fidget toys can help those who gets anxious or whose attention wanders in class, they are discreet and nondisruptive.

 If your child has panic attacks or periods of intense anxiety, teach them breathing techniques. This is proven to disrupt the sympathetic nervous system (think fight or flight response) and engage the parasympathetic system (rest and calm).
       o Box breathing – Have them find a window or picture a square. Breathe in while tracing up the side of the square/window, hold their breath as they trace the top, breathe out as they trace down the other side, and then hold again while tracing along the bottom. Repeat this as many times as needed until the anxiety subsides.
       o 4-7-8 Breathing – Breathe in through the nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7 and breathe out the mouth for a count of 8. This works better when someone is feeling generally anxious versus a full-blow panic attack.

       o Use your senses/Grounding – When anxiety strikes, try this exercise in grounding to bring your child back to themselves. Have them first name three things they can see, then three things they can touch, followed by three things they can hear. This gets them out of their heads and back to their surroundings.
       o Math – Simple math will help engage a different part of your child’s brain and derail their panic. For example, they start by reciting either in their head or out loud: 1 + 1 is 2, 2 + 2 is 4, 3 + 3 is 6, etc. until the anxiety lessens to a more manageable level.

It’s unlikely that one thing is causing your child to feel anxious and even more unlikely that only one of these tips is going to make it all go away. However, if we combine several of them and optimize a healthy lifestyle, these can go a long way in helping your child manage stress in a healthy way that sets them up for success for life! Please reach out to us if you need further help or guidance for your child.

Author

Danielle Hannah, PA-C